Pain of Loss

©Katy Curry

There are different kinds of pain; physical like when you stub your toe,  mental such as when you see something horrific and are helpless to do anything about it, psychological such as facing the loss of some one you love.

The pain of knowing you will soon loose a loved one becomes so palpable it literally becomes physical.  The hurt makes your heart explode, then explode again, and again.  Sobs wrack your body as you wail, the pain too deep, too intense to verbalize to another.  You are so alone yet so need company; not to cheer you up, just to be there, to hold you while you sob your pain, your feeling of loss, then maybe to pray with you for comfort.

That kind of pain is hard to share.  How do you tell others?  How do you verbalize what has no words, only feelings, emotions, and pain.  You try to reach out to others, yet somehow the blame falls back on you, the lack of verbalization of something you can’t put into words.  You wind up feeling even more seperated from those you trusted than ever, the pain intensifies as you realize you are even more alone.

The loss of a loved one is deeply personal, deeply emotional and creates a psychological and emotional pain that is beyond words.  The person experiencing  that loss needs understanding, acceptance, and someone who will not try to cheer them up or even necessarily try to give them hope.  I am watching my husband die, slowly.  I cannot begin to verbalize the sense of loss, the deep pain that cuts through the core of my being.  I cannot verbalize it, cannot pick up the phone and just share.  This gut wrenching pain is beyond that.

Should you know of someone who is a caretaker for their husband or wife or child knowing they will not help to heal them, but will eventually loose them, try just to be there, not to cheer-up, just be there.  Don’t wait for a phone call. it will not come.

If you have not been through this, you will not understand, I know I didn’t.  So I urge you, don’t wait for the call, be the one to call, be the one to hold her through the sobs, the pain.  This is not for the faint of heart, but know, as you allow her to pour out her grief, yours yours will be the arms of Jesus and through you, He will pour His perfect comfort into her heart and soul.   Will you allow Him to use you to bring comfort to someone going through loss?


Hey Lady Hey!

lonely lady


Verse 1

Hey lady!  Hey!

What you doin?

I see you lots , all alone,

Alone at church.

Alone at the store.

Alone with your dog.

Verse 2

Hey Lady, Hey! What you doin?

I see you with people, But you’re still all alone.

Why don’t you join in?  Why not have some fun.

Hey, you leav’in?

Why?  The fun is inside, the smiles, the laughter

Why you leave that behind, to go be alone?

Verse 3

Hey lady, hey!  What you do’in

I don’t get you, not one bit.

You could be happy, you could be smil’in.

You could be laugh’in  yo’self silly

With people who care.

You don’t give them a chance.

Verse 4

Hey, lady, hey,!  What you doin’?

God gave you friends.

He put them there, you just need to stay.

Why can’t you take the gifts He gives?

Ain’t no one in there better or worse than you,

He thinks you is special, why can’t you?

Verse 5

Hey, lady, hey, what you doin?

Maybe you wouldn’t be so sad if you’d stop your mopin’

What’s that you say, “Done too much wrong?”

Did you hear?  You is forgiven!

You ain’t no victim. So stop hidin’ from the world;

Stop hidin’ from yo’self.

Verse 6
Hey, Lady, Hey!

God had lots for you to do!

And you ain’t gonna do it act’in the way you do.

You get yo’self up; you read His Word.

You get outta your chair, get out in His world.

His joy is out there, no more of this junk.

Verse 7
Hey, Lady, Hey!

Throw that pity party out and pick yo’self up.

Do His will, with joy in your heart. He’ll put it there; you’ll see.

So walk by faith, be brave if that’s what it takes.

Next time I ask, “Hey Lady! What you doin?”

I want to see a real smile on that face.